It was a chilly weather outside. The light breeze were flowing through the air. The clouds were hiding the sun and it cannot be said that it was 4 in the afternoon in the summer of the northern India. Usually at this time, the sun shine at it's maximum capacity and it is so hot. But today, the weather was so pleasing that all I wanted to do was to go out for a walk. So here I am, in outskirts of the city of Chandigarh, taking my much needed walk.
On my way, I saw big trees moving because of the winds. The winds were blowing through my hairs making them cover my face, so I gather them all up and put them in a ponytail. The outskirts of this city is so beautiful, just like the inside of the city. My house is situated on the outskirts, far away from the noise and people. So I usually come here for a walk, always when I want to be alone and when I feel suffocated inside my own house.
My house.
That is a joke, that house is not mine, that's my husband's.
After marriage, women becomes the share owner of everything her husband owns, but not me. My husband do not even like me. He thinks I married him because of his money.
"You impressed my mother and made her fall into your trap so that you can marry me and have my money. You are greedy and a gold-digger person. Let me make one thing clear for sure, You can be the so called daughter-in-law of the Maurya's but you are and never will be able to be my wife. You may have trapped my family into your silly trap, but you won't be able to trap me in it."
That day when he said all those things to me, I was shattered.
This marriage was not on my wish list, I only said Yes because of my family, so that i can move away from them.
And also maybe because of my husband, because I have seen the person he is, respectable, nice and charming.
Before marriage, I met him once at the wedding of my distant cousin. And at that wedding, his mother chose me for him.
When I saw him at the wedding, he felt like a nice guy. I saw how much he cared about his family, and the way he treats others. How he speaks and behaves with others, how he helped the father of the bride to make arrangements for his daughter's marriage even though he was only a guest there.
I thought saying yes to him for marriage isn't so bad, he is a nice person and maybe he will treat me nicely, I thought maybe I will finally find my happily ever after and have a life of love and romance and happiness I have always dreamt of. But boy I was so wrong.
I walked a little more, walking more into the area full of big, tall and dense trees. It's chilly out here and looks like it will rain shortly. My legs are so familiar with the place that they them self are taking me to my favourite place. Where I sit in between the nature and think. About what my life used to be and what my life has become after marriage.
After marriage, he was nothing but cold and distant. I tried making some efforts and talking to him about clearing all these misunderstanding among us, but he was not ready to listen to me.
"What is your problem? Why can't you just leave me alone and stop pretending to be my wife! I have told you, you will never be my wife so stop with this stupid act of yours. Or are you so desperate for me and my attention that you can't understand what am I saying? You are nothing but a cheap, dejected gold-digger."
That day I had enough. I had always known that if I was to get married oneday, if not for love, then still I will want the respect, loyalty and honesty from my partner. And no one can disrespect me like that, even if that happens to be my own husband. I had enough of him and his unjust behaviours towards me that day.
"You have no right to disrespect me like that Mr. Vivek Maurya! You think you know me? Well you are wrong because you don't and now you will not even get a chance to know me! I cannot tolerate disrespect, betrayal and lies! You want me to leave you alone? Fine! I will leave you alone and to hell with clearing the misunderstandings between us, If you don't want to clear things between us so why should I? I am not the only sole responsible person in our relationship! You can go to hell and I will not even care about you now. I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU ANYMORE!"
That was the last time I had spoken to him, after that it was me who maintained the distance between us. It's already been a weak. And I will continue to do so, as long as I am married to him. I don't care about him now, and never will care about someone who has disrespected me.
Well the fact is, I can't make someone listen to the things I say, when they are not even ready to listen to me.
I was now sitting on the rocks overlooking the dense lush green forest in front of me. If only I could go into those forests and live there. No one to put blame on me and no one to scold me and insult me for things I haven't even done.
I have always been a strong women, who have not cried in front of anyone so that they could pity me. Even before the marriage, I was sad but that time I had hope, that one day someone will come and take me out of this misery. Someone is out there who will love me and cherish me for who I am. But I have no hope left in me now.
I laid my hands back on the rocks and leaned my face backwards, feeling the cold breeze on my face. I closed my eyes, this feeling the breeze and giving all my sorrows and sadness to the running breeze replacing them with happiness and hope for a better future.
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